Bored Cullens
by Beautiful Warrior
Summary: Kay these are the top 35 things that the Cullens would do... One shots. Somewhat AU and after Breaking Dawn. Hiatus
1. Emmett

**Things Emmett Cullen should do when he's bored:**

Sniff Rosalie

Tell Edward Bella screwed him

Eat goat cheese

Sniff president Bush's arm pit

Wear his t-shirt

Stick it in his principals face

Break down sobbing exclaiming that the grizzlies have left the premises

Spank Shakespeare

Play with Webkinz

Make out with a Robert Pattinson poster

Moan his name

Tell Rosalie Rob meant nothing to him

Set Bella's alarm clock to two in the morning

Kill Renesmee

Paint his toe nails green and say he has fungus

Announce he's gay

Then scream at a random person "You stupid homophobe"

Announce he's actually female(sorry Rose) and is les

Moon Aro

Smash Marilyn Manson's guitar

Smash Marilyn Manson

Accuse video on trial

Munch on your fingers

Breakup with Taylor Swift

(be like robrules) Hop up and down (in pigtails) and Yell:"Yay! I love new people!"

Make out with Edward and say:Alice did it! Shame on you Alice, Shame on you!

Tell Chuck Bass he smells bad

Win America's Next Top Model

"Go on Dr. Phil exclaiming you killed your wife

....explicit content not suitable for younger viewers

Protest against abortions

Dress in lingerie and Sing the diarrhoea song!

Uhh...Suck yo face? (especially if you hate Emmett!)

Start bawling after wathing the time traveler's wife!

Star singing paranoid but mistake freakin' out with breakin' out

**There you go; top 35 things Emmett Cullen does when he is (a) bored or (b) just plain wants to! Uhh, tell us If we should add the rest of the Cullens, Kay!**

**Thanks For reading,**

**Finley Girl & robrules!**


	2. Alice

**Things Alice Cullen would do when bored:**

Throw all her clothes away

Buy more clothes

Steal a yellow Porsche

Make out with Edward...

Yell out:"I'm a Drug Addict but nothing will hurt me" during lunch at school

Jump in font of a taxi moving 160 km/h

Munch, munch...a CRUNCHY CRUNCHY CRUNCH MUNCH!

Shove her fist in her mouth and bite it off.

Read "Edward and The Tampon"(you should too, it's HILARIOUS)

Figure out that she's fictional and some how bring only the Cullens and Hales (including Nessie, excluding Bella because she looks like Kristen Stewart; AHHHHHH!) to life.

Eat something that will make any newborn vamps sick if they touch her...

Become a duck

Eat a fly

Become the strongest ever Vamp and completely un-killable

Make out with Emmett and Blame it on Jasper

Play _Runescape_ with a user: Mrs. Edward Cullen

Pick an apple and yell out: "Take down the Apple!"

Eat Bella in thirty years

Sing the "S'winter S'wonderland" theme song

Lose all hope, go broke and have to keep all her used clothing

Run in circles yelling: "Duck, duck, duck, duck..." until people sit down in a circle beside her and yell: "GOOSE!"

Randomly show up in _American Pie: Band Camp_ and get wild.

Start mentioning al the swear words and act like a broken record on the bad c word

Go on IM and nudge as many times as possible

Eat a chocolate chip cookie

Go to every clan known of vamps in the world and yell out: "I LOVE YOU JAZZ! Oh wait; you're not him" and blush.

Grow her hair

Amputate her left hand

Become one with the circle; the circle of life *_circle of life _starts to play*

Play bongo drums

Become Selena Gomez and play Alex Russo on _Wizards of Waverly Place_

Uh, count thirty-five things she would do when bored

Do everything on Emmett's list of things to do when bored

Finish this list

A munch, munch...a total waste of time to finish this sentence again...

**Well that's Alice's list. Tell us who's next.**

**TFR,**

**Finley Girl and Robrules!**


	3. You asked for it ROSALIE!

**As you requested Digital Moonlight 2; Rosalie's top 35 things to do when bored...Hope you guys request more soon!**

**Top 35 Things Rosalie Cullen would do when bored**

Go find Emmett and go to their room...

Go tan in the sun

Eat eighty thousand doughnuts and actually become obese...What are you going to do now use- to- be- pretty- gal???

Go do everything on Both Alice's and Emmett's list TWICE!!!!!!

Go find Edward and do things...then yell at Bella that He's been cheating on her and make a HUGE breakup scene with Emmett

Make up with Emmett...

Munch on cheese puffs

Go drain human Bella and blame it on Esme...

Go kill Jacob Black using Charlie's house

Organise his funeral. In his speech, make sure he's only called Mutt or Fido or Dog

Become one with the mutt...

Somehow make all vamps eligible to become pregnant...females only!

Go back in time and kill Royce...REPEATEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHH!

Change time and stay AWAY from Carlisle but actually belongs to Edward as she should've in the beginning...

Go take things out of everybody's (not Alice's or Edward's) cars and tell Edward and Alice to swear not to tell...next time they need to go out...it's RUNNIN' time(peanut butter RUNNIN'' time! Peanut butter RUNNIN' time! Whay-OH, Whay-oh. Peanut Butter RUNIN", Peanut Butter RUNNIN' and a BASEBALL BAT...)

Wow...come up with better things to do when she's bored...

Have an evening séance with Emmett...

Go use her foul mouth to Charlie about how much of a fun-sucker he is...

Escape from jail and run to Indonesia

Become one with this list...

You shall not receive the token for the video game... "WHAT THE HELL!" Rosalie bursts out and kicks the machine until all tokens come pouring out...

Slam Bella into the wall while she was pregnant with Renesmee

Whoa...MONDO HOMEWORK DUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Eat any near by vamps and humans and werewolves/shapeshifters

NOSE TOES GROWS MOE'S...etc;etc;

Head and shoulder's neas and toes... "What are you doing kid??? You can't sing that song in public...you sing I WANNA F*** YOU EMMETT! Then that's all you say..." the kids start to cry because of Rosy's rampage...

Eater- eater pumkin eater...

Have FUN in the sun ;)

Become a disgrace to the most random thing you can think of at the moment...

Remember this... Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Pickled Peppers; A Pack of Pickled Peppers Peter Piper Picked... then say it eighty MILLION, BILLION times FAST in a ROW!

Randomly win a luxurious night with Emmett...

Have EVEN MORE FUN in the sun...

Rampage off to the set of Midnight Sun; the next generation... (Degrassi's on mind right now...)

Ooh. Ooh; I know the answer: Is it I like to F*** my boyfriend, Emmett, every F***ing night!

Say goodnight Eddie Beddie; I'll see you in a bit...*Bella goes and burns her*


	4. ESME!

**We're at Esme now...if you want, I'll even be doing people who don't even live in the Cullen coven like Sue or Mike... **

**Top 35 things Esme Cullen would do when bored:**

Divorce Carlisle, then go with Emmett secretly

Make sure everybody else loses their powers and then keep them for herself...

Concur world domination!!!!!!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eat the world...in one bite

Overcome her motherly-ness and torture the rest of the Cullens

Whoa dude...move to KENYA!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch _Powerthirst_ on YouTube! (link on bottom)

Uh...run into a bottomless pit of hell

Sink her teeth into a juicy, rare steak; so rare it wasn't even cooked!

Steal Bella's Mushroom Ravioli in the film: _Twilight_!

Have fun in the sun with, yours truly, sworn to by all, CARLISLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sing: _Gives You Hell _ by the All American Rejects(AAR, I may mention this in future references)

Appear in the _Gives You Hell_ music video as one of the girls...

HOLY CROW!

Finish the list eight times in row

Drink _Shoculate_;

Start running as fast as KENYANS

Get people to think she's a KENYAN

Race Against KENYANS

Tie the KEYANS and get the KENYANS deported back to KENYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Snake eyes!

Oh wait; doesn't she all ready run faster than KENYANS...so she would win and the KENYANS will be automatically deported back to KENYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Dominate the world...AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Re-marry Carlisle

Have an affair

Eat cheese...and like it!

HOLY CRAP!

Numero Uno on the soccer field...

Whoa-oh, I'm to cool to walk on sunshine–literally!

Ooh, four more things...

Do everything on the other lists until the world ENDS...or gets dominated by KENYANS...

I have nothing against KENYANS...you'll find out if you use one of the links...

ONE MORE THING!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, never mind, I'm not putting a 35th thing down...wait...

**So...I'm finished with Esme...Whom ever you want next.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Finley Girl and robrules...**

**Links:**

**Gives you hell:**

.com/watch?v=54GESxEe5kw

**Powerthirst:**

**.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs **


	5. Mike Newton A Source For Sports

**Okay, this one is for MegATwilightFanFicAdic... I was actually thinking of doing Mike next, believe it or not...Anyways, you can chose whoever you want in the twilight saga characters...**

**Top 35 things Mike Newton would do while bored...**

Call Bella

Dump Jess...again

Try to beat up Edward Cullen

Lose to Edward Cullen

Find out Bella's biggest secret

Call Bella

Blackmail Bella until she agrees to marry him

Mm, munch on Angela...while him and Jess are dating

Find Victoria randomly and then become her mate...as a vampire...

Call Bella

Become bred of waiting for Bella and marry Angela instead

Call Ben and apologize...

Call Bella and gloat that he got married, too

Yell out: "I LOVE YOU BELLA SWAN" over the school's intercom

Try his hardest to beat Edward up but come home almost dead...

Sue the Cullens for being so strong

Drink Fiji water; it's from the actual Fijian springs...

Become Fijian...

Figure out the next person up for these lists...

SEAWEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read: _The Host_ by: Stephanie Meyer...then figure out he was actually based on a book...

Fall in love with Spottedleaf*...

Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Become Family channel's new host

Sing: _I Think I Love You_ to Bella

A Munch, munch...a MUNCHY CRUNCHY CRUNCH, crunch...

Become J.K. Rowling's newest wizard...or replace Harry...

Demolish the Newton's sports store...

Hmm...

CALL BELLA DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bart Simpson said to Mike...

Huh?

Ouch! I have a clout on my ear!

Magically turn into cauliflower...yuck!

I dare you to skateboard down to her house and force her on a make-out session...

ALLRIGHT! Replied Mike, headed for the door...

**There you are MegATwilightFanFicAdict... Spottedleaf is from the Warriors series if you haven't read it...it's by: Erin Hunter...**

**Did you guys watch **_**Powerthirst**_**? I want comments saying how hilariously funny and/or/ stupid it was...go KENYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

**Thanks for Reading'**

**Finley Girl and robrules...**


	6. Jessica Stanly PeopleZ

**Whoa! Two updates in one Day...only because I got two suggestions though...Here you are Digital Moonlight 2, Jessica Stanley's turn. Um, I have a feeling that there will be quite a few chapters for this uh, story I guess you could call it...HEY! I've got a super-cool Idea...When I'm finished with writing all of the lists, I'll actually write a story on it...who's with me? Also, A Beta-Reader would be awesome; Robrules and I occasionally beta each other but other than that, a second one is always good...P.M. or Comment on whether or not you're interested...**

**Top 35 things Jessica Stanley would do While Bored**

Crush Mike like a bug for everything he just did...

Eat a random by passer's earlobe...

Hmm, finish Bella

Find Riley before he starts trusting Victoria and change his mind

Eat a dragon fruit...and become a DRAGON; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Most words in one chapter...

Become GUTHIX, from ruinscape; CABBAGE!

Woo! GO JESS! Yelled Stephanie as she wrote her books...

(tune of sesame street counting) 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12..........

Hmm,

Must reach the top of the Himalayan Mountains. She huffed her way up to meet Bella.

Two more words...

Streeeeeecth...

She went to sleep and dreamt of Edward lying at her bed, waiting. Waiting for her to wake up...

She woke up and found Edward there...what happens next? You decide!

ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN RULES!

Whoa! Did somebody say: Limbo time? I'm in!

Aw, come on dad; Homework can so wait till the eighties are over...not the 1980's, the 2080's...

WHAT?

FACEBOOK!

Read All of my stories...except sweet drift...

Become my bestest fwiend in the whole wide wowld...

YAY! Alice in Wonderland really does exist...

ELEVEN

STICKEY KEYS...

Dominate the world of Vampires!

Call Edward and Insist Bella's been cheating on him

Randomly disappear into a potato bag...

Turn into my dog Zeus...

FIVE!

Yella at Mike about Bella

Become Cross-eyed...

Stay, Jessica; we have to wipe our feet before we enter the house...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Jessica's not here right no BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Please leave a message at the beep and I'll try to get back to you....THERE'S NO BEEP, STUPID!

**And I'll wait for my next reviews...At the moment; Mike and Emmett were the easiest lists...Happy Thanks Giving Everybody!**

**Thanks for Reading,**

**Finley Girl...**


	7. A Regard To Certain Reviews

a regard towards my reviews... Thank you OMG! for your flame...my intention wasn't to make every single reader happy...that's virtually impossible. I like flame because it helps me grow as a writer and I'm glad you don't like my...er...story. I'm glad you've spoken your mind abd best regards on your stories... Robrules, on the last chapter I wrote I never mentioned you but I have been mentioning you because of our friendship bond that has flourished in these 2-3 years... Happy Thanksgiving, and Best Reagards, Finley Girl 


	8. The rest of the Gang

**Kay so I haven't received any more reviews so I'll continue on with Carlisle, Jasper, Edward and Reneé's lists...then, it's on to story typing! Oh yay; the hard ones*she said sarcastically...***

Top 35 things Carlisle Cullen would do when bored:

Screw Esme Eighty BILLION TIMES!

Become Dr. Evil and every time he uses a large number, do the pinky thing!

NO! EDWARD YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT IT!

LOL, that was funny...

Pwn(pone/ultimate known typo for own meaning own) all living creatures in THIRTY GOOGLEPLEX(very large number with 12 zeros) TIMES

Kill Every other living object so he's all allone, Thus the reason for the first of the list.

Somehow create more vampires of the nothing-ness that exists

become angry with his imaginary little sister(I just did but she's (sadly)real)

Finish _The Host_ in two nano-seconds

Start hating Stephanie Meyer for creating the Vampires' existence

Star in Zeke&Luther...

Eat Every food and food-like substance in the world.

OOGIE BOOGIE!

Get mad at everybody who has ever laughed at these lists(Including me...LOL)

Hey, what does AU and AH mean???

Create a fanfiction

read this and laugh...then get mad at himself for laughing

Save...

What Twilight Character Are You?

a) Esme

B)James

c)all of the above

d)air

Your Result: D)!

15 more!

Nothing but cheese

Screw the cheese!

RAWR!!!AGAIN!

Become Digital Moonlight 2's bestest friend

Eat food...AND LIKE IT!

Well my relationship fodder don't need to bother nobody I just think Cupid's automatic fire must shooting multiple shots at her.....(I Geek In The Pink by: Jason Mraz......!!!)

So...

[longpause]

WHOA DUDES....I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[handmotion for 'iloveyou']

6 more!

Become a carebear...

Wait...that's my mom's nick name!

Find out that his family has actually been alive for all of the time and ask them to join the Cullen Coven

L.O.L(lots of love)

STICKEY KEYS!!!!!!!!

**So.....Carlisle's done...On to Edward.........**

**35 things Edward Cullen would PWN(pone, own) While Bored; he pwns everything*ah***

Sup?

EAT CHEESE!

Randomly become 12-13 and start aging until he's 17-19 and take me with him....

GRRRRRR

Uh.....

Become Timmy Turner......

Get mad at all fanfictioniers that have or will flame me.....HAHAHA!

Bcome the ultimate txtr & mke a shrtct for evrythng....

UH! SO HARD!

Become intolerante towards other countries....and the Dutch

Thers 2 things he hates: a) intolerence towards other countries b) the Dutch.....

Sign off MSN IM...

Ignore the world...

Hmm...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH who lives in a pineapple under the sea? _________! Who's porris and yellow and spongeant is he?____________ Ready? ____________________________________________________________! (duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!)

Read: _The Hunger Games_

Change his name to: Edweird...

Become My fiancé

Ooh....read _Valiant;A Modern Fairy Tale_ amd cry...like I did...LOL, right?

Watch _Fame_

HARDNESS!

DOPEY DOPEY DOPE!

The Hills are alive in the sound of mu-usic....

Uh...regerds to the first 'hard' mentioned...No sickness meant...the second however...

Itchy and Scratchy remind me of Toopy and Binou...LOL

RAWR!I think that's my favorite....

Become a Canadian citizen but live in the U.S.A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Numbness......

NOTHINGNESS.

Add 'ness' at the end of .word

Grr...

Become Snow White

Start singing: Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping along the bunny trail...

So far...I haven't used numbers

ByeZ!

**Kay...Done with Edweard...On to JASPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**35 things JASPAH HALE does while bored; he gets bored easily...**

Lose control and eat the rest of humanity...

LOL

Become Elizer's BESTIE!

Yo-yo-yoey-I wanna know-y you...(*translavanianaccent* Cuz I vant to suck vour VLOOD!)

SO bored...on this thing for 3 days...

Guess what" he sayed. you say:"what" he says no guess" you give up a while later and he says:"six"

Open his backpack at school and say: "Got enough air inj there" just loud enough for the nearest teacher to hear and look at him in shock!

Announce:"I'VE GOT NEW SOCKS ON!" after grinning wildly at somebody.

YUM-yum-yum-yum-yum, delicouoso!

RAMPAGE!

Become the best cullen and tempt every other vampire to kill humanity while the volturi would have to kill all the other Cullens and Jasper could become king!

Mate with ROSIE

Growl

become a terranausaurous rex...

PUMPKINZ!

And now, for my next trick...

Du-duh-duh-duh DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....J

Buddies?

TOENAIL HAIR!

Eighty billion scabs.

the golden scarab

Yes, I am weird, thanks!

Bust-a-move

dump alice for Emmett

Zip codes are weird...

Play the basketball game HORSE

WRINKLES!

Nope...I _never_ lie.

JC+M(whatever Marcus' last name is?) FOREVER *in a heart*

DOPEY!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

COLLISON!

Gmail; e-mail for life!

Become a sleeping beauty

McMDONALDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**So, I've finally finished after at least 1 week that I've tried to finish...Um so you know, If you're a fan of my other stories, a few are going on _hiatus_. MEaning, I will return to them later on but in the meantime, I've got others to finish...I think that before I start typing stories, I will finish my others. So...Don't expect anymore _Bored Cullens_ until later on...**

**Thank you for all your support in Reading and Review-ing,**

**Finley Girl!**

**And a special shout-out to:**

**robrules; for helping me start the lists**

**Digital Moonlight 2; For giving me plenty of support.**

**Also to ALL OF MY OTHER FANS for giving me MONDO SUPPORT (mondo=lots)**

**And Finally,**

**to 'OMG' for your negative feedback; it helps alot :P**


	9. Quick Author's Note

**This Story is now on _HIATUS_. I will get back to writing it as soon as I can but in the meantime, I am trying to finish other stories.**

**Thank you for all of your support and sticking with me.**

**Finley Girl**

**P.S.**

**I am soooooooooooooooo(continues endlessly) sorry for the inconvenience.**


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